I've been a bad, bad blogger

I've abandoned a blog for a couple weeks now. I've certainly had no shortage of reminders either; I never realize how devout my readers are until I haven't written for while. You know what else? My devout readers are brutal - man do they know how to lay into me. They use a military style of reasoning (if you can call it that), wherein they break me down with criticism about how horrible I am at maintaining my blog, in hopes that motivation will sprout from their rotten, withered seeds. Nah, I'm just messin' with ya, Luie & Juanothan. If it weren't for your harsh reminders, I may have put off writing an entry for another whole day. So thanks.

But in reality, this entry is a total cop-out; I don't have anything in particular to say. Instead, I will post some videos from last weekend, when I babysat my kin. I promised Jonathan that I'd make a video of my nieces for him, since he is always so interested in them (which I love). So that's the explanation for the first one. The explanation for the second one is that Oliver is freakin' adorable, and also that I can't figure out how to turn the video right-side-up. Enjoy:

Welcome to the Gocke Home

On a Friday afternoon fourteen years ago, when I was ten years old, my friend DeAna DiMeo and I arrived at my house after getting out of school early for a half day. At St. Brendan's elementary school and junior high, every first Friday of the month was a half day. Naturally, aside from weekends, these Fridays were the most treasured days of the school year. All any kid could ever think about on these days was getting home while the sun was high enough in the sky that they could relish in playing outside all afternoon, as if they had cheated the system or something.

That Friday, however, when I arrived home I saw my father's car in the driveway. Before my father retired he was lawyer and thus worked long hours; he was never home at this time of day, or generally any time before 7pm. But his car wasn't the only strange image that my brain was ambushed by that afternoon. As the carpool driver pulled up to my house, I simultaneously processed the fact that there was a 'for sale' sign on my front lawn.

No mention of this had been made to me, and my father surely knew such a blow would be devastating. I stared in disbelief as we exited the car. DeAna was pretty silent as we walked up my driveway and saw my father emerge from the front door. I think she may have asked, "did you know about this?" Who knows if I responded; my eyes were fixated on my father walking to meet us side by side with the ominous placard.

He explained that he knew this would be hard for me, but the time has come to sell my childhood home. It just didn't make sense to have such a big house for so few people. He could see the upset swallowing my face and escorted us inside, presumably to avoid public embarrassment among neighbors who he assumed were peering through their blinds, hoping to spot a juicy reaction of lament.

Fast forward fourteen years. I have a good job, but a job that doesn't cover my basic cost of living, nonetheless. (Public Relations is the type of job that you have to pay your dues in before you can expect to rake in any real bucks) I found myself in a bind over the weekend, a bind that I hadn't experienced in over two years, since being a poor college student. After some long thought and serious compromising of my pride, I called my father yesterday. I explained to him that I can't make rent this month and will have zero cash to live on for the next two weeks, until I get my next pay check. (This is after applying for a credit card and frantically following the phrase "make money quickly" all over the Internet, wherever it would lead me, mind you)

I took some guff about parking tickets and the irresponsibility of getting my car towed, and then endured some disappointed sentiments about how I should be pursuing another career more actively. After his peace had been spoken, my father agreed to directly deposit a chunk of money that should cover the rent I was short of and ideally carry me through the next two weeks. As was common in my childhood for all agreements between me and my father, a contract requiring my signature will likely follow in the near future.

So my financial worries were put at bay for the rest of the evening... until this morning. Just as moment ago, as I was walking into work, my cell phone rang. It was my father. He cut to the chase and explained that he went to the bank this morning to transfer the money but as it turns out, he doesn't have the money available to lend. This didn't completely surprise me since I know that he's put his life's savings into the beach house that he is currently remodeling. "I'm sorry, but I can't help you out. You're just going to have to figure this one out on your own." A twinge of resentment shot through my brain as it occurred to me that he may be trying to teach me a lesson via some good old fashioned tough love.

I sighed an anxiety ridden breath and told him, "thank you anyway." But much like the time fourteen years ago, when I first lost my sense of security and home, a moment of clarity shone through my foggy head, as my father gleefully shouted, "April Fools!!"

Yes folks, welcome to the Springtime of my childhood. Over the years my father has gone to great lengths to instill fear and uncertainty in his children on this single day of the year. There's no doubt in my mind that this is merely a way to relive the days of his youth when he was a hooligan, playing mischievous pranks on people - god help us if I'm wrong and he actually just takes sick pleasure in our defeat. (The fact that my father had told me yesterday to be sure to answer my phone if he calls today makes me wonder how premeditated this prank actually was; had he been formulating his plan the whole time I was spilling my woes to him?)

Other April Fools Day jokes he's used were good, but never measured up to the 'for sale' sign. A couple years ago, when he had a girlfriend, they 'went to Vegas to elope.' Other times there were serious medical injuries. But most often these pranks of his failed since, ultimately, my father created a monster. One of us would answer the other's call only to realize that we were battling to get our respective pranks out first. As was the case with the 'elope' prank, we both scurried to set up our back stories. He obviously didn't buy it when I told him that I arrived home to find he'd been robbed and his coveted big screen TV was gone.

And what's worse is that I've let this filter over into other relationships in my life. I've told new boyfriends that I'm actually in a serious relationship, which I'd been hiding. I've told friends I was in the emergency room, and roommates that their cats were missing. Who the hell am I? Whoever I am, my father has made me not right in the head come this particular day of the year.

Happy Easter!

No, I am not religious. But I was raised Catholic and my father does claim that he still goes to church (the jury is still out on whether or not I believe him). For my family, at this point in most of our lives, Easter is more of an excuse to spend time together and eat a lovely meal. We don't talk about Jesus rising from the dead. Although, if we did, I would have a few things to say about it (have you seen Zeitgeist yet?).

My dad arrived just in time to tell the kids that the Easter bunny had left a special surprise outside. We walked out side to see three stuffed animals - a bunny, a duckie, and a lamb(...y?) - spread out in an arch on the front lawn. It was interesting to see which stuffed animal each kid ran to when given an option like that. By default, Oliver got the lamb.

My sister made a deLIGHTful brunch of mini ham frittatas, apricot almond bread rolls, and fresh fruit. I guess no one gave her the memo that I eat like a beast (as if this hasn't been the case the entire time I've known her). Ultimately, I think she was doing us all a favor by keeping the meal from being too heavy. I was surprisingly full by the end.

So of course, I more than thoroughly documented the day's events. Unfortunately, being that I am the one doing the documenting, I'm not actually in any of the fun family pictures. The afternoon ended with my dad getting super pumped on Wii. Watching him box was priceless, especially because he got more 'into it' than anyone else. My family surprises me more often than I'd expect - although I suppose if you're 'expecting' it, then it isn't really a surprise.

Long-winded update

What a couple of weeks it has been. I've had a lot going on, which pleases me beyond words.

First, I want to mention that I'm still feeling the creative flow these days, and that feeling of motivation alone makes everyday a little bit better than usual. I'm starting to feel a significant pull towards changing my career goals. While that might not necessarily sound proactive, I've established that, for me, change is usually all about momentum. I was really discouraged by not placing in the writing contest I recently entered, but in hindsight, the act of entering was a monumental step in a direction I'd like to head. Hopefully this snowball will gain some traction as I keep the faith in myself alive.

A few entries back I chronicled my recent run-in with the law. I refer to the incident that way so I can feel like a bad ass, since obviously, getting your car towed is nothing thrilling.

Other exciting events include a Cat Power concert on Friday night. Karen and I were supposed to go together but she came down with a flu. Because her tickets were actually press passes she couldn't simply hand them over to me, she had to give them to a coworker. But since I've been on an independence kick lately, I decided to go to the sold out show by myself. As it turns out, I'm quite pleased that everything worked out the way it did. I met some new people and I'm pretty certain I made at least one new friend. Plus, the show was fantastic. She played very few songs that I knew, mostly new material, but I really wouldn't have had it any other way. It was great.

I've been spending a lot of time with my family lately, which I love. My dad's house is coming along quite nicely. I've been enjoying the beautiful weather down at the beach, getting excited for our newly remodeled beach house! As always, you can check out pictures from my weekend on my Flickr account (link to the left). This week they're kind of boring photos of the house progress. The ones I took at Cat Power did not show up because they don't allow flash photography. Also, the ones of my nieces and nephew are all starting to all look the same and I don't want to wear my readers out on their cuteness. So peruse if you feel so inclined.

I think that's about all I've got on the update front. I'm feeling inspired by friends like Marissa, whom I've been joining out at art galleries once a week or so these days, Mike, who is always working on side projects to further his writing (and now acting) endeavors, and Katie, who has her eye the prize and recently interviewed for a much desired position at KCRW. So thanks guys, keep up the good work.

Oh, and... yay life!

I Love Children (but only if they're related to me)

I babysat my crew of little ones of Sunday night so that my sis and bro-in-law could go see Juno. Apparently, because of the three kids, the last movie they actually got to see in the theatre was Little Miss Sunshine. I can't even remember when that movie was in theatres. Over a year ago maybe? Anyway, I love spending time with my nieces and nephew so I gladly offered up my Sunday.

As it turns out, Oliver is a major mama's boy and carried on in hysterics most of the time I was there. I suppose I can understand - he's barely 13 months old and rarely spends time away from my sis. But as a result, he's not in any of my newest batch of photos; the crying got to be a bit much so I stuffed him in a closet for a taste of the solitary life that he'll have to come to terms with at some point. I think he got the picture. He's a little more prepared now.

Celeste, Elise, and I watched Cinderella, which I was able to drag away from my precious collection of Disney movies for a night. I think it's fair to say that Cinderella was my favorite Disney movie when I was little. That is, before The Little Mermaid, Aladdin, and The Lion King were released (yes, I was nearly 11 years old when the Lion King came out, and I ain't scared to admit it! I will never grow out of my Disney movies). Oh, but I just remembered Peter Pan...

Anyway. Check out how concerned my nieces look with the movie they are watching. Whodduh thunk that Cinderella was so intense and anxiety ridden? They even created a fort with the couch pillows, to hide behind whenever things got sticky for Cinderella...



You can see my entire photo shoot with them here (although they're all pretty similar). I was having fun playing with the settings on my camera... apparently too much fun. When Celeste finally had enough she pried her eyes away from the TV for long enough look me in the eyes and say, "Steph, I don't want you to take anymore pictures." Well okay then, that was that. Yes ma'am!

By the way... I just linked you readers to my Flickr account. I've never done that before - it seems a little too personal. But most of my pics are on private now, so I went ahead with it. Does anyone else use Flickr? I'm new to it...

Always a good time with this company

I really must share a conversation that my sister relayed to me earlier today, which took place between her and her 3 year old daughter, Elise. Elise in the one on the left in the picture/entry below.

danielle says: do you want to hear a conversation i had with elise earlier? or are you too busy?
Stephanie says: yes i want to hear, never too busy
danielle says: we were talking about family and babies and I said maybe some day mommy and daddy will have another baby...
danielle says: and elise says NO. and i said don't you want another sister or brother and she said "NO, it's not fair! I'm just getting the hang of this!"
and I said the hang of what?
and she said 3 kids
Stephanie says: hahahaha
danielle says: then she said i don't love you anymore, I only love daddy
Stephanie says: hahahahahahahahaha
danielle says: and I said why not?
and she said "you're not following my rule"
and I said what are your rules?
and she said "No more kids!"
daddy is my favorite
Stephanie says: lol
Stephanie says: oh wow. that's classic
danielle says: i especially loved the part when she says "I'm just getting the hang of this"
Stephanie says: it's funny that she's picked up a phrase like that
danielle says: anyway, she did let me know on her way in for a nap that maybe she would like another baby
Stephanie says: well that's sweet
danielle says: she is queen of these phrases. her other big one is "I can't handle this"
Stephanie says: lol
danielle says: and then i had to let her know that IF there is another baby it won't be for a long time
danielle says: well, she's a riot
Stephanie says: yes, i concur
Stephanie says: i intend to blog about this conversation later

...It was then that my sister asked me what a blog is. No joke. I sent her the link to my blog and she was quite pleased to see that much of it is devoted to her children. Throughout a good part of my explanation of what a blog is, she was convinced a blog is the same thing as MySpace, though I don't know for sure that she's ever even seen an actual MySpace page. Danielle, I hope you read this... so that it doesn't sound like I'm straight up making fun of you :-) because I loooove you!

Holida-eee! .... Celebra-eeet!

Well, I hope everyone has had a wonderful holiday season so far. I know have. And there's still one more holiday to go! Christmas yesterday was just swell. We had brunch and hung out all day at my sister's house in Hermosa Beach. Her husband's family was there too and they're a lot of fun.

There's usually an altercation of some sort that takes place at my family gatherings. But this year not even the slightest bickering occurred. I got to play with my nieces and nephew for hours. After they finished opening all the presents I gave them, Elise asked me in the most innocent voice, "Steph, do you have more presents for us?" And in case she hadn't heard correctly the first time, she asked again. What a little bugger.

My sisters and I wrapped up the day at sunset - what a beautiful sunset it was - with our best Fire Marshall Bill impressions. What can I say, I guess that's just how we like to celebrate JC's birthday.

"My Name Is Lisa"

I didn't realize how ironic the video I am about to post is, until I signed into blogger this very moment and saw the entry I posted just yesterday. Ha, this situation makes the video all the more poignant... and I'm not quite sure what to think about that.

This video was featured on YouTube today. It's sad and touching (hey, I never claimed that my blog is funny). Most of all it's scary; scary to imagine yourself or your loved ones having no control over what the mind is doing. This video really struck a chord with me and it raises awareness about an incurable disease, so I thought I'd share. You never know what other people have going on in their lives - something to remember when faced with the the reaction options of patience & understanding vs. judgement.

Well I'll be...

I really must say, for a world population that is growing at exponential rates, it seems to get smaller and smaller day by day...

Just a moment ago, completely on a whim, I decided to Google my grandmother's name. My mother's mother is named Betty Jane Wilcox (which, by the way, I've always thought was a rad name. "Betty Jane" - so classic). The first few results I get are for commercial genealogy sites, so I read on. Then I see a real hit entitled "Wilcox Family Heirloom". "Hmm, interesting," I think to myself. I click the link. This is the page I am directed to.

If you notice, this Craigslist posting is filed under the city of Detroit. My grandmother did in fact grow up in Detroit before moving to the Los Angeles area when she was about ten years old. So now my curiosity is quite piqued. I just sent a response email to this mystery person. It was pretty comical when my computer froze as I was trying to reply to the posting; I had a bit of a panic attack because I was in such a flurry to get to the bottom of this.

So now I play the waiting game. Interesting little mystery, no? I'll let you all know how it pans out.

Sit tight, little buddy.

My sister recently attempted a family portrait for Christmas cards this year. Her youngest child, Oliver, has also recently become extremely mobile. Apparently this picture represents the common theme of all those she took that day:

Just a little something

So I have a big event for work tonight: High School Musical 2 DVD red carpet/screening/press junket/release party. These HSM movies (as we call it in the biz) are wildly popular with the media, which is a little surprising to me considering that it it began as a made for TV movie. It obviously helps that the original film's soundtrack was the bestselling album of 2006 - a stat which shocks me, but then seems pretty logical once I think about it; there isn't much to compete with in the category of children's music. I figure, if you estimate that 15% of the entire population are between the ages of 6-16 and they are all listening to the same thing, then that single musical phenomenon is already making a huge mark by affecting 15% of the population. Now, the other 85% of the population may not even include active music listeners, and for each age group and demographic there are multiple categories of music interest, plus multiple bands in each category. Oh, and the immense media interest has also probably been aided by the fact that one of HSM's hot little underage stars has had nude pictures circulating. I'll let you know how she looks in person and whether or not she lives up to all the hype.

But in reality, I think the only people who care that I'll be among all these young stars are my little cousins, who are obsessed with all things Disney. Unfortunately, and as pathetic as this sounds, I won't even be able to brag to them, my only interested audience, about my shoulder rubbing because if I do I will never hear the end of it: 'why didn't you take us!! You HAVE to take us next time!!' And no matter how many times I explain it they won't understand what 'work' actually means.

So check out Access Hollywood, Extra, or E! Entertainment tomorrow night and you might catch a glimpse of me in the background on the red carpet. It's sort of inevitable when working the carpet for these events - since there isn't much space to work with you always end up in the back of the crews' shots. It's kind of fun. Tell me if I look professional.

That's all. I didn't really have much to say, I just hadn't written in awhile. I've been lagging on posting my most recent round of nieces/nephew photos from last weekend. But there ARE new ones, and they ARE just as adorable as ever (naturally).