I wasn't fully aware that I had become addicted to caffeine - yet again - until today. I'm sitting here at my desk with a throbbing head, almost as though my sinuses are backed up and the only cure is to lay in bed and sleep it off. Looking at my computer screen, I can't focus. I try to sit up straight but my back curls over the edge of my desk. I try to write this blog entry and find myself holding my head as though it hurts to think, as I harness all my energy to squeeze out one collected thought at a time... very... slowly.
It's only been one or two weeks since I've reverted to my old ways of sipping the juice in the morning. Ah coffee, my old comrade: a pick me up, something to get my day started. I began drinking again, thinking it was harmless; just a way to make sure I'm ready and raring to go by the time I get to work, a way to focus my mind. Once I acknowledged my dependency on it - the last time around - I realized I should get off the stuff "for good". Then, months later, I actually decided to... when I saw that my teeth had become the charming shade of 1920s photographs. Superficial? Maybe. But what kind of person would I turn into if I sustained such a vice? I mean, Mommy always said caffeine made Daddy mean at night time.
And now - after moving into a new apartment and establishing a new route to work, which happens to pass right by my local coffee shop - I've begun groggily stumbling in for a little morning boost, despite my triumph of kicking that habit months ago. A girl's gotta wake up somehow!
So here I sit, at my computer, half awake, chatting on instant messenger with my friend from down the hall about needing caffeine - a conversation he initiated after witnessing my condition. "Maybe we should walk down the street for some coffee," he says very sympathetically. I find it funny that as I write this, all my concurrent communications with other people orbit around this powerful little drink. What a hold it has on me!
After much deliberation, I think we've built up the morale. I'm off to get some caffeine!
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
One more cup of coffee for the road
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8 comments:
i have always been amazed at coffee's grip on people. i am not a huge coffee drinker at all...perhaps because brown bean water has never really appealed to me. :)
ha ha maybe that will help squash your addiction...if not there are much worse things to be addicted to!
Good point. I'm of the mind that coffee actually makes me a better person, because it helps me be productive. It's just unsettling to be so reliant on something.
oh hey how did your big work proposal / presentation go? i was hoping to read a post about it.
Oh my, I'm very ashamed to have to respond this way but... it has yet to be completed! It's sort of on hold, sort of ever evolving. You see, I work at a very small agency and the work flow and dynamic is reflective of that.
The sad part is, if I do get this online publicity arm going, and it takes off, I'd venture to say that there's a raise in it for me. I just haven't made it over that hump yet. Again, I'm embarrassed about it, cuz I know I'm only letting myself down :/
Caffeine? Addicting?
No way!! I've been drinking coffee several times a day for decades. So I should know! :)
Your profile photo just put a HUGE smile on my face! It's so happy! I found you at Kels's blog, in case you're wondering. Hugs.
hmmm iknow what you mean about the whole letting yourself down part....i feel like i have been doing that to myself for the past 2 years. i guess you have to at least try and then see, you never know it could turn out awesome and, if it doesn't, you tried and will know what to do for the next time. i think that we don't nearly give ourselves the credit we deserve.
Welcome Dan, thanks for the comment! It always makes me so happy to see new people reading my blog.
Kels, sometimes I feel like we're leading parallel lives, from the way you talk in your blog. Thanks for the support, it's definitely good to hear someone in my line of work understands what I am going through. I mean, it's not good to hear you are going through similar negative feelings, but... you know what I mean! :)
i agree, we seem to be experiencing a lot of the same things...some part of me is sure we are going to get it right one day (bloody soon i hope!) as far as our line of work goes...i am not sure if i cut out for it, or maybe i am in the wrong department but right industry. who knows...hey let me know when you find will ya? :)
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