Friday, February 29, 2008

The Nature of Observation

Leaning forward,
he plowed like a freight train
down the sidewalk.
It looked as though
he might have taken off into the air,
had he not been so distracted by the street.

Alone, Together. (not like The Strokes song)

I'm sure there will be several editing processes to this poem, but for now... here a first draft:

It had been years since the once familiar pair
basked in each other’s company.
The seasons crept on as green leaves turned varying shades of yellow and red,
fell to the floor, and fed the earth as soggy brown lumps of compost.
Their hair had grown long,
as it was when they were children,
but their faces hadn't aged.
And their words spoke of vast changes in spirit and soul,
though the voices ultimately sounded the same.

Perhaps it was a familiar scent that made it feel okay
that they were the same people inside as always;
the scent of a memory that reminds you of home,
whether realized or not.
But before long, the stench of cigarettes invaded her clothing
as she smoked as though she had never quit,
and picked up where she left off
with other bad habits she thought she had kicked.

Buried deep in a lifetime of circumstance,
it felt good to give in to those things she had been conditioned for,
and something about denying herself attention made her feel like a better person,
one who was there for another, despite her own interpersonal needs.
But being the skeptic that she is,
she wondered how long the high of self-deprivation would last this time.

It occurred to her that they were both lonely.
To one, the mere presence of another body,
to listen to all her self-involved ramblings,
was exactly what was needed.
To the other, forfeiting the coddling and reciprocation she came to find herself in need of,
in order to feel the comfort of a presence within which she did not feel judged,
was well worth the sacrifice.

And so they sat,
alone, together,
as a whole that had never been halved,
the ties not severed.
And something about the changing weather,
which always caused the same effect,
felt better than contradictory and less like a storm,
as the universe calmed its chaos
so that an imperfect reality may reign again.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Timing

I just got into work. It's 11:30am. I came from picking my car up at the impound.

I completely slept through my alarm today. After groggily rolling over to look at the clock, I sprang out of bed like I had received an adrenalin shot to the heart when my eyes beheld the time 9:30... because that meant I was already a half hour late for work. Luckily, my bosses aren't coming into the office today, so my tardiness would squeak by unnoticed. I proceeded with an abridged version of my morning routine, which only afforded me three songs on my current 'wake up' soundtrack (also known as Leaves in the River).

I was out the door by 9:50. The day had been going great so far: it was already 75 degrees by 10am, there wasn't a cloud in sight, I was dressed in my casual (comfortable) clothes since my bosses aren't coming into the office, I was having a good hair day, and let's face it, I got an extra 1.5 hours of sleep. I rounded the corner onto the residential street behind my apartment building, where I park my car every night. I'll give you one try to guess what wasn't there that should have been.

I stopped dead in my tracks when, instead of my car, I saw an orange cone with a sign, in the gutter in front of the second house in. I've seen this cone before. I walked over to that lonely chunk of the block where no cars dare trespass. Turns out the house is having some sort of extermination done and no one is allowed to park in front of it this whole week. I placed a call and caught a friend right as she was leaving for work, and being that she works for her parents, her schedule is flexible.

At the impound I forked over $187, which did not include the $50 ticket that was on my windshield. After I'd signed all the paperwork and was directed across the street to the wrong lot, a spirited man wearing a nametag that said "Ben" hopped on his walkie talkie and tracked down my car. We chatted as he escorted me to the correct lot. "What'd they get you for?" he asked. I explained the situation - that because the gutters on that block often overflow with water, the residents put cones near the curb to alert people of the hazard zone, so I didn't think twice when I saw the cone last night. We proceeded to share some mutual complaints about the system.

As we approached my car he looked down at my paperwork. "Looks like you just missed us," he observed. I stretched my neck to see what he was referring to. "Says here we towed you at 9:28am."

9:28am. I'd be $237 dollars richer if I hadn't slept through my alarm today.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Oh man

I have so much work to do today and I'm not working nearly as diligently as I should be. Would you believe it, I'm actually getting requests (read: demands) for new blog entries. This is the day I've always dreamed about... in my least ambitious dreams.

Fret not, I haven't abandoned my blog (I'm sure that by now all my 10 readers have gnawed all their finger nails off in worry). I just haven't had a lot of time - or rather, motivation - to write lately. So, just thought I'd say...

Hi everybody!!
(a la Dr. Nick)

That is all.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

When it rains, it pours

Man, am I having a horrible day so far. Don't you just love entries that start out like that? As if my morning hadn't been going poorly enough, I just found out that I didn't place in the writing competition I entered. Which is, of course, to say that I've lost all hope in my writing abilities and feel utterly talentless in life. I know, I know - it was the first competition I ever entered, I wrote it in an hour, there are tons of great writers in LA, blah blah blah. Still. The way I feel right now, Stephanie = failure. In more senses than I care to share.

It's a shame because I had such a fun weekend. Highlights included, but were not limited to: art gallery with marissa followed by dancing, lunch and a boat ride with the fam, Katie's birthday celebrations, Shark and Will being in town (any CO friends reading this?), driving range with Emily, Monopoly Marathons with Karen & Emily, finally seeing No Country For Old Men.

You can catch pictures of a small portion of these activities by clicking here.

Here's a sneak peak:

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Bull by the horns?

I'm entering a writing contest. Submissions are due tonight at midnight. I feel like I shouldn't even mention it beforehand, in case I don't place. So I'm compromising by writing about it, but keeping the details vague, or... nonexistant. If I place, I find out this Tuesday.

Wish me luck!

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Well i'm too old to lose, baby, I'm too young to win.

I've officially and frighteningly just found my first gray hair. I'm tempted to just leave it there. I don't feel anymore stressed lately than the usual levels so I wonder what caused such a thing to happen. Could it have to do with one's diet at all? I'd like prevent this from happening again.

Friday, February 8, 2008

If bending is the only way to fit into a certain space
then I wonder
if just maybe
the space wasn't meant to be filled

------------------------------

I think, maybe, I'd like to go back to school to study Psychology.

New York, New York

Lauren got to go see a live taping of The Whitest Kids U'Know last night. Lucky b*tch. At the end of the show they all sang along and danced together to the Dinosaur Rap. You should YouTube it - my blog is starting to look like Kenny B. Loggins' with all these video posts. You should also visit Kenny B. Loggins if you haven't yet, there's a link in my sidebar.

Aww, who am I kidding? I've got to entice folks to visit my blog somehow, right? Here's the video. It's pretty silly, but so am I:

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

The Three Wise Men

Did anyone happen to watch The Colbert Report last night? If so, I'm sure you immensely enjoyed the special guest appearances as much as I did. Any set that houses Stephen Colbert, Jon Stewart, and Conan O'Brien at the same time is alright by me. Here's the clip, in case you missed these three funny men challenging each other to a battle royale by beating up a desk with their shoes and belts:



Plus, in my pursuit of that clip I came across the encore showing which took place on Conan's show. Get "ready to rumble"....

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

General Update

I'm feeling really on top of my game these days, and by that I guess I just mean productive. I painted last night. I drew the night before. I went to the observatory over the weekend and revisited a book I had long since given up on. Last week I hung photos in my room that I've been meaning to hang for months. I've been exploring a lot of new music (new to me, at least). I’ve been visiting art galleries. I reorganized and cleaned out a lot of my belongings. I've been eating very healthy, drinking much less, and actively remedying long standing health issues. I’ve been exercising. And in addition to all these things that better my mind, body, and soul, I’ve been very social and have had the chance to catch up and strengthen bonds with both old and relatively new friends. I guess that would fit into the ‘soul’ category.

So in short, I suppose life is great! Taking some long overdue Stephanie time seems to be exactly what I needed. But, of course, as much as I love ‘me time,’ I enjoy the company of others as well. So, if anyone is ever feeling spontaneously adventurous and/or productive – which is my favorite way to feel – please give me a call. At the risk of sounding undeniably corny: let’s see what this world has to offer! Oh, and also, show the world what WE have to offer! (insert picture of me giving thumbs up)

Monday, February 4, 2008

Feeling Inspired

I did a little drawing tonight. I didn't have anything around my apartment - any inanimate objects - that seemed worthwhile to draw. So I pulled a picture of someone I thought would make an attractive subject. I was a little tired by the time I got to the left side with the trunk, as you may be able to tell :) so the piece remains unfinished.

I'm still trying to find a particular style. I'd like to be able to sketch in a freer, faster, and almost messier way. I tend to be a little too calculating and meticulous when I draw and I actually don't like the way that looks as much as broad strokes and unruly lines. But I haven't gone through an artsy phase in awhile, so I'm still regaining my bearings here.



(kind of weird how it shows up as a mirror image, throws the brain off for a second)

On a random aside, I went to the Griffith Park Observatory on Saturday. It was the first time I've ever been, which is kind of sad considering I am a Los Angeles native. I hadn't even intended to end up there, but I'm really glad I finally went. I had intended to find a nice little hidden grassy patch somewhere in the trees around Griffith Park where I could cozy up with my book (sounds lovely, right?). But as I drove through the area I suddenly found myself being ushered with a sea of cars to the observatory parking area. We'll call it fate.